Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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