dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
