My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
