maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
