im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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