I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
