To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
