No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
