new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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