I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
