worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
