she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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