better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
