i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
