whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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