i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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