Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I hope mine doesn't look like that
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize