the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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