omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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