I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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