It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
