piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
