He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
