We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
