I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
