I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
