I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize