This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
