omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize