Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
