Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize