i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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