now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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