His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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