oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's blow job season.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
