look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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