Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
