She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize