You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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