I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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