I will die if light touches me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
