"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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