Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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