she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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