i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
