I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize