OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
