I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
