Just cropdusted the office
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
