So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
