Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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