New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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