Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
