the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
