god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just forgot I was standing up.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
