could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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