I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
