yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
