Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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