I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just found a bag of teeth...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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