he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
