Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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