Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
