At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
