Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
