Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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