Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
