He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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