I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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