All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
