That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
