Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
