He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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