Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
