whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
