i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
