Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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