I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
