Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
