so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
